I dislike forwards.PERIOD.
esp. those ones that ask you to send it to a 100 people and an eel to get good luck.
Fills up my inbox.....nothing else. (Note: the funny humorous ones I don’t mind..the lame-help this girl, how to recognize an elephant and how to feed an anaconda are the ones that I have serious issue with.)
I'm starting the Universe of Senseless Stories. (read half take a breath get married get back and finish the rest)
This is the first one (a letter to someone who just frwded "how to recognize a stroke"):
SUBJECT: BCKWRD: FLIGHT OF THE ORANGUTAN
Two,
A forward infact its a backward you will never forget.
Once there was this dude (name changed for obvious reasons) that used to
love birds.
He would stare all day at these eagles and wonder how would it be to soar.
He drew plans and meticulously sketched out designs that would help him
fly.
He came up with a device that would change the structure of the DNA in your
body, defractuate hormones and increase the multiplication of
Cardiouspandilour cells (that normally increase the rate at which the heart
goes whup..not whop but whup...the lower deeper sound that normally
resonates whilst a ear or a mike is placed near the current location of the
heart).
This device would change the way humans looked at airplanes and ufos.
In fact they would be able to look up the nose of a plane (which would then
be used for historical education) and call out to their daughter who forgot
her spawn and jerry lunch box (two big slices of grapes and one liter of
aero fuel)
Humans would get rid of emails and courier services..maybe the courier
service would move with time and eventually come in at a close 57th position
with its innovative pursuit of how to deliver a cd to Memphis. The internet
would be used for just chatting (something that will not change ...so don’t
get your innerwear up in a bunch). You could fly your girl, parents,
neighbor’s ferocious dog to any place you like ..infcat you could fly with
them except the dog (whom you could drop on a swaying beanstalk and shout
STAY. That should help you deal with all the time the kind little
rottweiler has been freaking you out with his salivating menacing growl and
evil dog poo. (same procedure suggested for ex girlfiriends...except u could
spin by a dilapidated haunted castle up in the hills of Scotland and leave
her there giving way to verb '"to dump".
Well Rachita I hope you have leant that persistence and hard work always pays
off and that’s how the little boy created this phenomenon (trivia: that word
is the long lost brother of this writer) in about three weeks of having his
mind come up with the brief.
Moral of the story: hard work pays. If you work for an mnc it pays even
more.
Please send this to ten people whose name starts with an inverted x and you
shall be sent this miraculous device called in all its glory " the Flying
Device Thingy" (notice the twist in the name with the creative placing of
the uncommon word "thingy" suggested by a copywriter who earns millions a
year and has now bought the pink Floyd cd and listens to the track "learning
to fly" all day.)
This letter will self-destruct in a couple of years. In other words this is
the beginning of my contribution to the universe of senseless stories a
collection of which i will publicly release tomorrow.
So be a darling hit forward or the back button. Press escape or try
Cntrl+Space+ f16 (all with your left hand) to make all your miserable,
fantastical, sentimental wishes come true.
man do I have a lot of time.
No.( answer to q above)
Poof.
Ashwin.
Ps
Disclaimer:
All of the above is a depiction of actual facts including the non-existing
years and other numerical numbers that I haven’t included. Except for the
Beanstalk. Now that is a bit of my creative license at work. If you own a
beanstalk I’m sorry there could be a chance I was referring to that
particular one.
Apologies. (also for the misleading subject header)
